I always new that my eating habits were not normal or healthy, but I never realized that it was considered an eating disorder. To me an eating disorder is anorexia and bulimia. It was after doing a bit of research on the internet that I came to realize I am a compulsive overeater and that it too is an eating disorder. I read the "symptoms" and thought "OMG, this is me!" It was quite an eye opener to me..... All these years of beating myself up for not having enough will power to stay away from food..... I realize now that I have been using food as a drug to numb myself from all the pain I don't want to feel. I am to the point where I don't know how to feel anymore....
Anyway, I had started blogging here in hopes of keeping myself on the raw food way of life, but it seems it did the opposite, the last year has been awful!! And rather than being raw and healthy I went copmpletely the other way. The crazy insane lady inside of me was completely out of control. This has resulted in a 50lb weight gain, a large dose of self-hatred and a big drop in self confidence and love.
I have been working at rebuilding myself from the ground up or inside out.... I have a long way to go.... I quote from a book I am currently reading: "I am 50 shades of fucked up"....
So I will be blogging more but for a while it won't be about raw foods, but on the hurdles I am trying to overcome...... bear with me!
Jo.....
